Guess whose back?!!
It’s been a really long time since I’ve gave you all some goodness lately, and I am most certainly going to make up for it. But first I must warn you, I’m not the same person you met the last time you read my words.
No no..I’m not a shapeshifter and I didn’t steal someone’s identity in futile attempts to explore the world. (..although I always wanted to be a world traveler..ahem..well that’s besides the point).
My hiatus was due to some much-needed extensive time in my Chrysalis aka my cocoon. On all fronts, Spirit was prompting me to take everything–and I do mean EVERYTHING— to the next level. It was time for the next step in my evolution. And there was no escaping it. It was also time for me to step back, pick up and re-discover some important things I may have left behind. I wish I could be super detailed about every little thing but as you can see, this process took a good 3-6 months to get to, with the last 3-4 months being the most intense.
I have this habit where I’ll try to mentally backtrack and figure out when things started to get really cray-cray. It’s a kind of checkpoint that gives me an idea of all that I’ve went through and triumphed through thus far. #CapricornProblems
I can say that everything started to hit a plateau around the middle of April. My spidey senses started tingling around this time and I started getting new signs; signs that I usually didn’t get. I am one of those people who gets a ton of different angel numbers and a slew of other kinds of messages but something else started to emerge. I started to getting some SERIOUS animal totems.
Ironically around this time, I was finishing up the pages of one of my main life journals. The ending of a journal is always significant to me because it usually ends in a way that is symbolic of a major phase ending in my life. Of course, I always do a ritual to honor that. The next few days I went on a search for a new journal at Barnes & Nobles. I am suuuch a sucker for the printed Italian leather ones. Now usually they only have certain kinds of Italian leather designs, but this time around, they had just put out some unusually bold designs that I wasn’t used to. It was a pleasant and welcomed surprise though. I usually expect for it to take me about 20 minutes to pick the right journal that speaks to me, mainly because I always find two that I REALLY like and I have to play a serious game of elimination. The times have definitely changed, as I INSTANTLY saw the one I was supposed to have.
Now I’ve never been super big on butterflies but this journal almost felt like it was calling ME and me ONLY. It was the loudest inner answer I had ever gotten. I even tried to revert back to trying to find a second best to compete with it (you know, just to make sure I was still sane) and it was almost as if the journal said “Tashia..Ta–WOMAN. I am RIGHT HERE. No..no don’t look behind me..noooo. I’m exactly what you need right now. Yes..yes that it.”
That night I went into my mini-art studio and created some art while opening my new journal. The window was cracked, bringing in fresh spring air that had big promises of warm weather to come, and my Spirit was so excited about the things to come that every nerve ending felt like it was dancing. Although I wasn’t exactly sure what was coming, I knew that I was super excited about its arrival for sure.
..I really wish somebody would’ve told me “Chile!! You’re in for a wild ride!!” because that’s EXACTLY what I was in for. During this time, I started connecting with some AMAZING women from the Divine Wisdom Radio crew. They created a 30 Day “Heal Thyself” Challenge that just really blew me away. The culmination of this challenge was an overnight womb retreat that I’m so glad I was able to drive down with a good friend and participate in. (Be sure to check out the reflections from the retreat here)
During this time, my animal totems increased BIG time. I mean I saw butterflies EVERYWHERE, in waking and in dream life. My Angel numbers increased, I started receiving a bunch of spirital gifts in the form of complimentary readings and as I opened myself up more, everything just started accelerating. To align mind body and spirit, I also did a 3-day juice detox. However, with that acceleration came a few breakdowns of course. Family matters came up, my business plans slowed up, causing me to go on hiatus for awhile and the relationship I was in that I THOUGHT was the bomb literally turned into..well a bomb that completely blew up in my face. The hometown city I currently reside in became worldwide news as riots broke out everywhere. It all just took a toll on me that I honestly wasn’t expecting. Then.. enter the glorious planet retrogrades! Mercury TORE. ME. UP. You hear me?
In hindsight, I was the EPITOME of what that butterfly represented. She wanted me to know that we were one in the same. And she wouldn’t stop buggin’ me until I figured it out. The gift that I was getting was a complete reset so that I could enter my next stage in life with a clean slate. Anything that was going to impede that process had to be removed because there was only so much room within that chrysalis. Lawd knows I needed all my strength and all the space to push out of that thing when it was time to.
What a massive amount of transition this tiny creature undergoes. Consider for a moment the kind of energy this expends. Imagine the whole of your life changing to such an extreme you are unrecognizable at the end of the transformation. – Anna Merkaba
More recently, the butterfly came back to remind me that she wasn’t quite done. This past weekend’s Lion’s Gate portal on Saturday reopened the entire phase I had been going through. This time however, it was a reminder that it was finally time to break out of the cocoon. The struggle was ending and the woman I was when I first entered was stronger, wiser and working with an advanced blueprint. One that I was more confident about. Further confirmation of that came in the form of yet another picture I just happened to see on a friend’s page of a butterfly emerging out of her cocoon with ease. In every aspect of my life, I felt like the struggle was ending. My business, Earth Wind & Finds, LLC started blooming in bigger and better ways, my finances started to balance out, my writing skills increased and I experienced a ton of patience and support from really good friends. That ain’t even half of it. We would be here forever though.
I was also reminded of my Native roots and how everything was interconnected before I even paid enough attention to realize it. This journey also helped me become more passionate about connecting with my ancestors. Last week, I was researching some Goddesses to put on a new altar I wanted to put together and came across Ataensic herself. When I read her story again with a new perspective, I instantly resonated with her.
The Native American Goddess, Ataensic, was the Iroquois Goddess of Fertility & Motherhood. She is also more widely known as the Sky Mother. According to legend, she lived in a world above the sky, in the celestial realms. While she was pregnant, she fell through a hole in the sky, dug up from the roots of a tree. It’s said that her jealous husband, Sky Chief, lured her into the hole.
The world was a watery place at that time. However, waterbirds came to meet her and helped her land safely on the back of a big turtle. She drew up mud from below to form land on the Earth. In many ways she was the First Woman who later gave birth to a daughter that gave birth to twins that represented the duality of good and evil.
Was it a coincidence that I felt connected to this particular Goddess, being that I am myself from an Iroquois tribe? Nope! Was it coincidence that around the end of last year, I felt drawn to write for a blog that directly honors her? Of course not! Her story reflected exactly what I felt and had been through. In many ways, I felt like I had fell from grace in the worst way. But I still managed to land safely and gracefully, creating new, stronger ground to walk on. You would think that I would have connected all this a long time ago, I mean from the outside looking in it was pretty clear. Don’t you hate when that happens?
There were so many lessons I learned and re-visited during this time. Lessons that I will go more into in the next time. Trust me, this journey will take a few posts.
Nowadays, my truth is stronger than ever…and the insights I’ve gained? Baybeeeeee. There’s still some blooming I’m doing.
You’re just gonna have to stay tuned for Part 2!